by CARMEN M. HALL aka MS. BOSS LADY
Please welcome Carmen M Hall (aka MS. BOSS LADY) to the Writers Journey Blog this week!
I thought this Journey was it! I thought leaving New York State behind to find “Success”, would be easy. I thought that the grass was greener on the other side of the world… and it was. I was running towards the “Sunshine” where everyone was happy, life was good… but it wasn’t.
I wanted to be Famous! I wanted everyone to know who Ms. Boss Lady was, that was my plan… but it wasn’t God’s plan. I asked God for this Journey, but I wanted to do it my way. I wanted God to just, “Get me to California”, and I would take it from there. I didn’t know what was going to happen along the way. God brought me to a different world, that I knew nothing about; and since I wanted to do it “My way”, he released me amongst people, places, and things that I had never seen before, and people that I didn’t understand.
The only “Armor” God gave me to survive was Faith and Belief, along with what he had given me from birth, which was knowledge, wisdom, and understanding, and that became a very important tool for my survival; Faith and Belief was the key.
I had the key, but I didn’t know it. My journey would become my life story. If I wanted to be successful in my journey, I had to do it God’s way, but I had to learn the hard way. What I went through was not to test me, but to challenge my Faith and Belief, and it was hard! The Trials and Tribulations were horrific, I fought Giants that tried to stop me, the storms just kept coming. I lost everything in those storms, I wasn’t living, I was just existing… Where was God!
I had been planning my journey since forever, even when I knew, I couldn’t make a move. I had no plans, I had no money, and I had no support. I started in the 80s writing Rap lyrics, dreaming of becoming a Rapper. I had a binder full of rap songs that I had written, and one day dammit!!! I would be on “Yo, MTV Raps!” Well, a girl can dream, can’t she? At 16 years old, my son was born, then my two daughters, before I knew it, my rap career was now over, life had stepped in and reminded me that I was now a mother.
In 2000, I re-married a childhood sweetheart. He was great, fun, funny, good with the kids, a man that just wanted a family. He knew I wrote because I had written two Novels and a Poetry book that was published. I was on cloud nine, I had book signings, I market myself on social media, told anyone that would listen that I was an Author!
Now what… I wanted to make my books into movies. I knew what I wanted to do, but I didn’t know how to do it. I just felt like if I moved to California, it was a better chance of becoming a star quicker than I would in New York State. How could I just leave everything that I worked so hard to get? I had my home, my job of 15 years, my family, and my friends. I was there for everyone, but no one was there for me.
The kids were now adults, so I started writing a “Bucket list”, and I kept adding to it, determined to accomplish each one of them. I wanted to lose weight, refinance my house so that I could clean up my credit, get my bachelor’s degree in business marketing, and leave New York State. Sounds easy enough, right? But life has a way of cutting down a person’s hopes and dreams, chewing them up, and spitting them out.
I had lost 150 pounds via Gastric Bypass Surgery, I refinanced my house, and I cleaned up my credit. Now just two more to go… “Not so fast Carmen, you know nothing comes easy for you, and nothing ever will”, that voice was Reality letting me know... “It ain’t gonna happen Captain”, so close but, yet so far.
In 2005, I became a grandmother! I didn’t know whether to be happy or mad. I couldn’t possibly leave now. My plans of leaving dissipated. I enrolled at the local Community College for Business Marketing; I would work my full-time job, then after work, I would go to college on Campus certain days of the week, then go home cook, clean, and deal with my family, then do homework.
I had to drop out of school, I couldn’t do it, there was so much going on. I don’t think that my Family and Friends thought I would leave. The more I spoke about moving to California, the more my husband would shoot it down. He was standing in the way of my dreams because he didn’t have any, so he didn’t want me to have any. My husband didn’t think I would really give up everything and move, but when he saw I was not kidding, that I was going to move with or without him, he choose to move to California with me, and we drove from Albany, New York to Fontana, California.
I started documenting our drive from Albany, New York, to Fontana, California, until the day I lost everything and wrote my third novel, California, The Lies Behind The Sunshine, my Journey, my Story, my Life. I had Looked at California from the outside looking in, it was nothing more than Façade. Writing is a passion for me, I gave up everything for it, and I lost everything, because of it. Writing is my way out, it is an outlet to express what I want to write, how I am feeling, and why. My writing was the ointment that could heal any wounds that I was feeling.
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AUTHOR BIO Carmen M. Hall aka, Ms. Boss Lady, was born and raised in Albany, New York. A Mother and Grandmother, who now resides in Riverside, California. She learned to write on her own, no College needed. Carmen says, “No college would get the credit for what God has given her naturally, and that was “Talent”. Carmen has a weirdly different way of thinking than most people, which makes her books so interestingly different. What makes SIN-THIA, unique and special is, nobody thinks as Carmen does. She stands out. Just her “Captions” alone for SIN-THIA, attract readers to want to read SIN-THIA. Carmen has multiple manuscripts waiting to be processed with hopes of one day turning her books into movies. With the right representation, she is an unstoppable creative mind.
Her previous published works include a Poetry book called, Teardrops of Poetry (2008). Two Novels, Deliberate Sinz. (2010), Backslidda’ Was it Worth it? (2012), An Autobiography, California, The Lies Behind The Sunshine my Journey, my Story, my Life. (2020). Carmen has completed her third Novel SIN-THIA, which is an Erotic Urban Thriller.